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Have you ever collapsed into bed completely exhausted… only to lie there with your mind racing like it’s the middle of the day?
You’re not alone.
And no, nothing is “wrong” with you.
Women tell me all the time:
🔊 “I’m so tired but my brain won’t shut up.”
🔊 “As soon as I stop, everything I’ve been holding in comes crashing down
🔊 “As soon as I stop, everything I’ve been holding in comes crashing down
🔊“Why do I feel wired when I should feel tired?”
If this sounds familiar, here’s what’s really happening, and it has nothing to do with willpower and everything to do with your nervous system.
Your Brain Isn’t Being Difficult, It’s Trying to Protect You
When you spend the entire day in “go mode,” your nervous system stays switched on, even when you finally slow down.
Your mind can’t switch off because it doesn’t feel safe enough to stop.
This can happen when you’ve been:
- carrying constant responsibility
- juggling work, family, ageing parents
- navigating perimenopause
- functioning on poor sleep
- absorbing emotional load
- pushing yourself long after you needed rest
Your body is exhausted.
Your brain is alert.
That mismatch is what keeps you awake.
Why It Gets Worse in Your 40s
Many women hit 40+ and suddenly feel:
- wired at night
- anxious in the evenings
- restless
- mentally overstimulated
- unable to unwind
This is because hormonal changes can amplify your stress response.
Perimenopause makes your nervous system more sensitive, which means everyday stress hits harder and takes longer to settle.
It’s not you.
It’s biology.
The “Overwhelm Storage Effect”
Ever notice that you hold it together all day, and the moment you sit still, everything crashes in?
That’s because your system can only buffer so much before it spills over.
When you stop, your mind finally releases what it didn’t have space for.
This is why women often stuff emotions down all day… then spiral at night.
Three Things That Help You Switch Off
These tools work quickly because they speak to the nervous system, not the logical mind:
1. Calming the body BEFORE calming the mind
Trying to “think your way out of overthinking” doesn’t work.
You need to regulate the body first.
Try:
- long exhale breathing
- placing a hand on your chest
- 60-second grounding
- humming (vagus nerve activation)
2. Reducing your “threat load”
Overwhelm is your brain signalling danger.
You can reassure it by lowering stimuli:
- soft lighting
- warm shower
- slower movements
- silence or gentle music
3. Hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy works because it gently retrains the nervous system to feel safe, calm and steady, even when life is busy.
This is why so many clients say:
“My mind finally quiets down.”
If You’re Struggling to Switch Off…
It’s not a flaw.
It’s not a weakness.
It’s your system asking for support.
If you’re in Brisbane, Australia, New Zealand or online, I can help you calm your mind and rebuild your inner steadiness.
Follow Me for honest insights on perimenopause, burnout recovery, stress management and weight loss and how to keep thriving when life throws you curveballs.
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