Don’t Please Your Employees To Death: The Dangers of People Pleasing And Self Sacrifice
Burnout is a common issue that plagues many organisations, but it can be prevented with the right management style. Too often, managers fall into the trap of people pleasing and self-sacrifice in an effort to please their employees or make them feel better about themselves. This type of behaviour may seem like it’s helping in the short term, but it will only contribute to burnout in the long run. Let’s take a closer look at how this happens.

The Danger of People Pleasing

People pleasing is when managers excessively accommodate their employees’ demands or requests without looking at the big picture. It is often fuelled by a desire to be liked by others or make them feel good about themselves. 

While accommodating employees can show that you care about them, it should not be done excessively.  According to research on the psychological impact of people-pleasing, this habit often leads to resentment among other team members who don't receive the same special treatment.  It also prevents you making the objective, strategic decisions required for effectrive burnout prevention strategies with the team. 

Self-Sacrifice Can Lead To Stress

Another common mistake that managers make is sacrificing their own needs to meet employee demands. This type of behaviour is often rooted in guilt or a feeling of obligation. While it may seem like self-sacrifice shows your dedication to your team, this type of behaviour usually leads to stress and exhaustion for both you and your employees. 

When you overextend yourself for others, you are setting yourself up for failure in the long run. Eventually your resources will run out and you won’t be able to meet everyone’s expectations anymore.  This creates a cycle where your resilience levels are overdrawn.  It also sets a precedence for standards that others come to expect in future, creating an unsustainable "always on" culture.

The Solution: Balance & Respect

The solution isn’t as simple as saying “don’t people please or self-sacrifice!” Instead, what managers need to focus on is finding a balance between meeting employee demands and taking care of themselves first. 

It is important that we respect our own boundaries while still showing our employees respect and appreciation for their hard work. This doesn't mean we should ignore our employees' requests; instead, we should take the time to understand what they are asking for before making any decisions.  Following Harvard Business Review's guidance on setting boundaries ensures that both ourselves and our employees are getting what they need without sacrificing too much on either side.

Leading Without Depleting Yourself
As managers, we all want our teams to succeed—but at what cost? People pleasing and self-sacrifice can easily lead down a path towards burnout if left unchecked. The key here is balance—we need to find ways to meet employee demands while still taking care of ourselves first so that everyone wins in the end! 

By respecting our own boundaries while still showing appreciation for our team members' hard work, we can create a positive environment where everyone feels supported and respected while also avoiding burnout along the way.  For female leaders, it is also helpful to understand how Australian Menopause Society's research on emotional health notes that our ability to maintain these boundaries can be affected by hormonal shifts during perimenopause.

Support for Sustainable Leadership
If you feel like you need extra support in making these changes, don't hesitate to reach out. Whether you need help resetting your nervous system to stop the cycle of people-pleasing or you're looking for professional support with burnout or menopause for yourself or your team there is a path forward.


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